Love, like energy, is the ultimate force for action. Our passion towards people and dreams is probably the most noble driver to do something, purely because we feel it and wanted.
Love can be expressed or sensed in multiple forms and change profoundly even on the same object or person. The way I love your mom change over time, or more precisely develop. How I feel and connect with my work and hobbies is evolving constantly.
Far from the romantic idea of love as something static, resulting from destiny or a bigger order, love is a muscle and need continuous estimulae. Constant deep contact with the object loved is requiered to maintain the flame, whether it is in friendship, partnership or just what you do as profession.
I happen to challenge the notion of unconditional love, as without regular positive interaction and connection, it will fade away like the ashes of a long disantended fire. The feelings and connections for others are not in a safe spot, if we do not keep it up, and our actions are only part of the story. Commitment towards the object of love is necessary but far from sufficient, as correspondence and some circumstances are required.
Luckly there is suficient freedom of choice and margin for action to not be overhelmed by the chances of failing, or the inherent instability in the links between what we love and us. We can only do our best, because that is the only thing we can do, and the result will be a caotic sum of effects which are many times beatufil and fullfiling, and sometimes harsh and merciless.
In a bigger or smaller scale, I experienced a full range of highs and downs on the topic, and I can only share that is worht trying, and at some point is worth giving up. The art is to know when to push and when to let go. Drop to easy, and you will never reach the maximum expressions of it, keep up too long, and you will find unnecesarry pain and loss. Yoga is a great school in the art of loving.
The are some tensions to be handle if we want to live intensively the art of loving. Our commitment to our outside world competes in time and energy with our own love. Loving oneself and building the version of us that is authentic and make the best of us shining, takes time and loneliness. We need to take the time to get to know us and to be able to bring to our loved ones something unique, and the fruits of our individual harvesting.
Currently many of us scape solitude, with a busy schedule full of social activities and distractions, as if solitude is a miserable state and not a part of growth and learning. The result is that we do not take care of ourselves and there is little we can bring to our communities. The lack of harvest, reflection and silence makes our excessive communication flow superficial and weak. We count connections in numbers, but we lack to have people to which to share our fears and truly feelings, or activities where we flow purely.
In the balance of solitude and great companion resides happiness and a great life. It is the intensity, the purity, the commitment towards our connections that matter, not the number. Love few people, do few things but do it with your full heart, and something amazing is going to happen. Mastery and deep connection are the results of digging profoundly on the art on loving.
Scaping the noise and the weak estimulae from popularity or appearance, choosing wisely the very few objects towards which devote our love, is the only way to find your best self, your passion, and your family. The later refers to those where you share or not blood links, but rather those handful of people you can count of for the tough and the most beatiful times.
I would like to close up talking about partnership. We are too romatic in our idea of love. There is nothing like the one or a permanent state of deep connection that last decades without us taken a stake on it. Finding a person to spend your life with requires, first of all, a heatlhy cleanup of our crazyness, which we all have, and dreaming big and commiting to that strongly. Biology call our attention as a very poor adviser, but what really matters is the inside, cliche but damn true. Beauty is defined by the amount of care, fun and compansion that your partner bring to your life. There should be plenty of adventure, but we also need stability and a ton of boring stuff, like laundries and many other admin ****. Despite the numerous amount of not so exciting moments in partnership, such as hearing the same story multiple times or dealing with friends you do not like that much, finding someone to spend your life with is a miracle.
The fact that someone, despite our long list of weaknesses, crazyness and defects, is willing to share his/her precious time with us and engage in the most intimate moments in life, is something to celebrate. I am fascinated by no means of how lucky I am with your mom, whatever the future brings to us, every day is a bless and probably the best life I could imagine.
To the eyes of some people you may be a lonely wolf, or a hyperactive social person, a rare being or someone fascinating... is all good. You need to come up to a way of living love that is giving you time for you and what you deeply care about. It is only you who can learn, try, adjust and repeat this never ending caotic, fragile and uncertain life and its multiple expression of love. Good luck!
"Love till you are dry, empty and ready to refill in the tank of solitude.
Those who know when to give and when to get never exhaust the possibilities of love, which are finite
but larger than what any human truly needs "
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